K.E. Maxwell's Space

Sorry I haven't written much in almost two months. I've been horribly busy with school and whatnot, but I wrote this poem [or song lyrics, as that's how it came to me] and I wanted to share it. Ok, this was just an off the top of my head-type-deal. I just wrote it right here right now, no stops. Tell me what you think:

Lead Me On

All my life there's an empty space
Of something that i've tried to fill
With everything that I could grab on to
Every instance filled with disappointment
It's just this 'fly in the ointment'
I felt fulfilled for just a moment
Then I was empty again

You know i've been chomping at the bit
Just trying to ignore You
Insisting that nothing could get through
I couldn't see that the void I carried
And tried to pile up with everything
Was only made to fit You in

I've been blind
Hard and ignorant and lonely
Self-righteous and unthankful
I don't know how You could have forgiven me
But You did
And the blunt and honest truth is
That the best thing for me is
To just let You lead me on
Follow Your lead
Lead me on

I have my doubts
How can I believe that which I cannot see?
I have more ears than mouths
More reason to listen
More reason to feel and have faith
More reason more than anything
To live just as You would want me to
I really can't deny that it's true

Time comes and I begin to see
All that You have done for me
I don't know how I could have passed You by
And the blunt and honest truth is
You're impossible to ignore
You're everywhere, in everything
You're life and love and more

So lead me on.

Kaman Maxwell - 01 Feburary 2007

So that's it, y'all. Hopin' you liked it. See you next time.

His,

Kaman

I was browsing about a forum on Facebook when I found this little story. It's a good story, and if you have read it before, then good on ya. If you haven't, please indulge:

The university professor challenged his students with this question. Did God create everything that exists?
A student bravely replied yes, he did!"
"God created everything?" The professor asked.
"Yes, sir," the student replied.

The professor answered, "If God created everything, then God created evil since evil exists, and according to the principal that our works define who we are then God is evil."
The student became quiet before such an answer.


The professor was quite pleased with himself and boasted to the students that he had proven once more that the Christian faith was a myth.


Another student raised his hand and said, "Can I ask you a question professor?" "Of course", replied the professor. The student stood up and asked, "Professor, does cold exist?"


"What kind of question is this? Of course it exists. Have you never been cold?" The students snickered at the young man's question.


The young man replied, "In fact sir, cold does not exist. According to the laws of physics, what we consider cold is in reality the absence of heat. Everybody and every object is susceptible to study when it has or transmits energy, and heat is what makes a body or matter have or transmit energy. Absolute zero (- 460 degrees F) is the total absence of heat; all matter becomes inert and incapable of reaction at that temperature. Cold does not exist. We have created this word to describe how we feel if we have too little heat.


The student continued. "Professor, does darkness exist?"

The professor responded, "Of course it does".

The student replied, "Once again you are wrong sir, darkness does not exist either. Darkness is in reality the absence of light. Light we can study, but not darkness. In fact we can use Newton's prism to break white light into many colors and study the various wavelengths of each color. You cannot measure darkness. A simple ray of light can break into a world of darkness and illuminate it. How can you know how dark a certain space is? You measure the amount of light present. Isn't this correct? Darkness is a term used by man to describe what happens when there is no light present."

Finally the young man asked the professor. "Sir, does evil exist?"

Now uncertain, the professor responded, "Of course as I have already said. We see it every day. It is in the daily example of man's inhumanity to man. It is in the multitude of crime and violence everywhere in the world. "These manifestations are nothing else but evil."

To this the student replied, "Evil does not exist sir, or at least it does not exist unto itself. Evil is simply the absence of God. It is just like darkness and cold, a word that man has created to describe the absence of God. God did not create evil. Evil is not like faith, or love, that exist just as does light and heat. Evil is the result of what happens when man does not have God's love present in his heart. It's like the cold that comes when there is no heat or the darkness that comes when there is no light."

The professor sat down.

-----Hope y'all enjoyed it!

In Christ,

Kaman

Yesterday was a long day, let me tell you.

From 7am to 7pm, I got virtually nothing achieved outside of quickly taking out garbage, pre-making bottles of formula, showering, and eating an english muffin. I assure you, this was not out of laziness. I was occupied - very occupied - by a child, namely my daughter, who slept no more than a total of 45 minutes in that twelve hour time frame. And yet, she didn't act like she was overtired, even though I knew she was. The reason for this was that I kept her entertained. I kept my undivided attention on her, trying many times to feed her in the evening and send her off to sleep for the night. She wouldn't have it. No, she wanted to play. So play we did. Let me remind you that I hadn't eaten since about 7:30 am. This doesn't help my patience, and at about 6pm, it was really starting to wear thin. I was starting to get frustrated. At some point, I can't remember when [or maybe it was on all day?], I had turned on the radio, setting the tuner to a local christian station out of Seattle. This is the time of year that they play christmas music amidst all their regular fare. I suppose that had something to do with keeping my sanity in check. This 'being a parent' circus takes some getting used to. It's only been five months, but I can say with confidence that I was completely out of sorts at the beginning. Though it is still very much a test of what used to be seen as my having boundless patience, I'm considerably less frazzled than before. Well, anyhow, at about 6:45, she finally settled down and took to her evening eating, and was dead to the world by 7pm. She slept for twelve hours. Very nice.

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not at all complaining about how my day transpired. I think yesterday was the best day I've had in a long, long time. There are reasons, i'm sure that someone might think me crazy for saying that what i've described to you was a 'really good day'. Here's why:

 1. It was gratifying. I felt a huge sense of accomplishment at not letting myself get distracted, at not getting out of hand in my frustration, and seeing it through to the goal: getting her to sleep for the night. It felt good to really, really love her.

2. Clara slept twelve hours! T-W-E-L-V-E  hours last night. As a result, I slept pretty darn well myself.

3. This is the main reason behind the post, the title, and all that jazz. Six p.m. was the high point of my frustration. I was sitting there, more or less, going through the motions in playing with my daughter. On the radio, a song comes on, and let me tell you, I've always liked this song. It was "O Holy Night". I don't know who was singing it, but it made me cry, and at first, I could not tell why. Then I could see the beauty. It turned out to be such a fulfilling beauty. It struck me, the magnificent, and undeniably glorious beauty of God that shines so bright was deeply impressed on my heart at that time, through such a timeless song. It put my day in perspective, it made everything that I wanted the day to be seem like nothing. It made my designs so inconsequential. So meaningless. The day I'd had, the simplicity and focus of it, was where God wanted me to be. Just...there, and No. Where. Else. That feeling, it carried through to the morning. It's still there even now as I type this. It was so absolutely stunning. It made me realise just how self-absorbed I've been lately. How careless with everyone and everything else I have been.

If that's what it feels like to take the focus wholly away from yourself, then I want that all the time. It felt better than what happiness is supposedly supposed to feel like. It felt better than getting what I want. It felt better than a shower after sleeping through a sweaty, hot summer night. It just felt really, really, really super good.

It felt DELICIOUS.

Yum.

In Christ,

Kaman

It's snowing. In Victoria. While that's something that happens at least once a year for a few hours, the snow this time is a tad out-of-place. Snow in Victoria is rare, but it just doesn't happen in November...until now. When I woke up this morning, it sort of looked like it was raining and snowing at the same time. The concrete was wet from rain, so the snow wasn't sticking. But it kept snowing, and snowing, and snowing. Sometime while I was in church, it started to stick. The ground temperature dropped enough that it could. I'm known to say that I have no use for snow unless i'm on a mountain, or those occurences of snowball fights at one, two and three in the morning. I used to watch the Weather Network obsessively at the slightest mention of snow happening in Victoria.

As I sat in the sanctuary today, looking back to the foyer, through the big window to the outside, I could see the snow falling hard, covering everything in a pure, unblemished blanket of white. Pure. It made me think of that hymn, "Whiter Than Snow". How true. It's a newfound appreciation for this cold, white, fluffy stuff - how it inspires!

In Christ,

Kaman

It's raining here. Crazy raining. This weather would depress most people, but I'm taking it in stride. Try to see the good side of everything, y'know? Without the rain, the vegetation would die out. Without the rain, our reservoirs would dry up. Without the downpour of the heavens, this earth would slowly become a crust.  The rain, like the pouring out of God's love, nourishes.

There's something about a light rain that's so refreshing. Going out for a walk, without an umbrella, droplets resting gently in my hair. There's something about a light rain that's so refreshing, like a soft whisper of God's voice, carrying us along.

There's something about a torrential downpour. There's a strength to it, y'know? It can soak you to the bone in an instant, sometime you could even wash your hair in it [I've seen this done...]. It has a rhythm, you can dance in it, paying no heed to what others may think of your sanity. There's something about a downpour, like saving grace, soaking us all.

Each drop from the sky is an inspiration. Every prayer is heard. There's something about the rain, that reminds me of God's word.

In Christ,

Kaman

BC Lions WON the Grey Cup yesterday, 25-14. HA!

So, uhmmm....

I'm sitting here at my sister's place, watching my sister's brat. My niece, Jamie, is a little cutie. Yes, i'm really watching her. She's watching "Play With Me- Sesame"...On Treehouse. Clara's waking up after a nap, and I'm waiting for my brother-in-law or my sister to get home. Speaking of those two...

They aren't married. But that's not what I'm going to talk about. They live together, but that's not what I'm going to talk about. What I'm talking about here is how they talk to each other. It's so very rude, and I'm sorry, Crystal, Justin, but you should try to have a little more respect, and tolerance, acceptance of each other, because otherwise, your lovely bratling is going to catch on. I'm not condemning, and I understand it's hard to take things with a grain of salt when it's easier to just be bitter about it. How can any of us learn what love is when there is no good example from our parents? Really, that's where we first learn from. It's taken me many years to start to learn what it really is, because I didn't have the greatest of examples, but I forgive my parents, they did the best they could, they did only as they knew how to do. Please understand that everything you do, your child sees it, hears it, and is very, very, undeniably curious. We all learn from example. Kinda scary, I know. But...That's the way things are. Let it be known that I do pray for you.

I've been wanting to play DDR lately. Normally, that would mean that i'd have to go to the arcade, but I can always mosey on down to the movie theatre a short walk from my place, because they have the game there. It's just a matter of ceasing to be so lazy and unmotivated to get myself out the door. Well, seeing as I'm going to a movie downtown tonight, and the arcade is next door..well, I may be able to drop in for a little bit and play.

I've been thinking a lot about the blessings in my life. God is so very gracious, I'm so very thankful, and the thought of a life without the Lord..even worse, the thought of a world devoid of the presence of God is a very frightening thing I'd care not to dwell on. So, I'm just not going to. Thanksgiving, as it approaches for those of you in the 'States, is not the only time of year to give thanks and think on your blessings. Do it often. :)

In Christ,

Kaman